Thinking

One of the features that defines being human, that separates us from the animals is a consciousness, a sense of self. Thinking is a major component of being human; an essential cog in an intricate machine.

Thinking is the single greatest contributor to our state of mind – without thoughts we would not be human. Thoughts of all shapes and sizes swirl through our heads, thousands a day and we seemingly have no control over them. Most of us are at the mercy of our thoughts – they can bring you to a state of ecstasy, provide crisp clarity, cloud our days and drive us to the depths of despair. To even attempt to control our thoughts is a process steeped in complexity, riddle and mystery.

I have never really had control over my thoughts. They have always won the battle, controlled the play, and held all the cards. I have made progress; thoughts do not rule me like they once did, I can now watch them come like a wave, and then wash away again. This is a breakthrough, as thoughts need to be tamed. Someone once told me that you need to cut the thought off at the thought stage, or it becomes an action or emotion and then behaviour. This was a revelation as I had never broken it down in my mind, examined the process. To me thinking was like breathing, an ingrained part of being alive – no one thinks to breath, to pump blood through his or her veins – it just happens.

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking. A favourite author of mine spoke of one of his characters seeing things in his mind that were not real, but could be, and it was that possibility that drove him mad, drove him to murder. Shakespeare also used this ploy with many of his characters, planting seeds of thought in another’s mind and then casually, slowly, and purposefully sowing those seeds until the desired outcome was reached. This often resulted in bloody murder, torture and mental anguish, the staples of medieval entertainment.

It is amazing how thoughts can creep up on you, waiting patiently for the most opportune time to strike. They can floor you or raise your spirits in an instant. I have had many conflicting emotions of late, my focus flitting between scenarios, concepts and memories with unnerving speed and vigour. It has not been pleasant, but life can be like that. The key is to not focus on the thoughts, to not entertain them, don’t invite them into the confines of your mind, as they will spill their drinks, stub their cigarettes on your couch and kick the cat. They need to be kept at the fence line and vetted with stringent and thorough critique.

I have been trying to focus on all the positive things I am privileged to have in my life – the friends, family, material goods, health, memories and experiences. Life for me is not all apples but nor is it misery and doom. There is a lot to be thankful for, a lot to cherish. When the thoughts circle I am ready to be selective on which I consider and which are confined to the scrap heap.

I wish you the best with your thoughts, let them influences you, excite you and enthral you, just don’t let them rule you. It is a fine balancing act.